Do I Tell Him?
Should I tell the father of the baby before I decide what to do?
Deciding whether to talk to the father of the baby before making a decision to have an abortion is a deeply personal choice, and there are several factors to consider. Here are some points that might help you in making your decision:
Reasons to…
- Shared Responsibility: Sharing the decision-making process can be beneficial. It acknowledges the shared responsibility and may help to maintain a healthy relationship, regardless of the outcome.
- Emotional Support: The father might provide emotional support during this challenging time. Having someone to talk to who understands the situation can be comforting.
- Legal and Ethical Considerations: In some places, there may be legal implications to consider, or you might feel an ethical obligation to discuss such significant decisions together.
- Long-term Relationship Impact: If you plan to maintain a long-term relationship with the father, discussing major life decisions can set a precedent for open communication in the future. Sometimes a decision is made thinking it may “save” your relationship, oftentimes the opposite can happen.
A Reason not to…
- Safety Concerns: If there are any concerns about your safety or the risk of an adverse reaction, it may be best to prioritize your well-being and seek support from other trusted individuals instead.
Steps to Consider Before Talking with the Father
- Confirm You are Pregnant: If you are not pregnant, then there is no need to stress over telling the father. Before causing yourself more stress than you need, confirm that you are pregnant by calling for a FREE appointment at OWCC.
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Spend some time considering how you feel about the pregnancy, the relationship, and what you want your next steps to be. This will allow you to make a decision that is based on your needs, values, and feelings and not made from his.
- Gather Information: Understand your options and the resources available to you. Gathering this information can help you make an educated decision for you. The information may be useful when talking with the father, as well.
It is important to talk with someone you trust, even if it is not the father of the baby. A friend, family member, or counselor can help you process your thoughts and emotions. Others can offer you insight and perspective that you may not have considered. Having someone with you to walk through this uncertain time can ease anxiety and stress. If you do not have someone you trust, we are here for you. You do not have to do this alone.